A 15-year research project by Morgan Blair
We all carry the risk factors for being ... different. This room, in particular, has numerous high risk signals. This is the story of one particularly egregious case, Shane Bruess.
01 · The Premise
No census counts furries; every figure is a self-report estimate (FurScience / IARP). Seattle and the Pacific Northwest skew high: a historic hub (RainFurrest, Furlandia).
02 · The Framework
I believe Shane is at risk of becoming a furry. Not today, but five measurable factors move a person toward the line. Most of us carry two or three and stop. The subject carries all five, and he's still walking. If we're not careful, that's where he'll go.
Logs more hours in a headset than in daylight.
Considers the front porch a vacation.
Owns the figurines. Insists it is about the artistry.
Has strong, specific opinions about Bowsette.
Primary habitat. Measured in hours, not minutes.
03 · The Data
* How one highly fuckable tortoise saved the entire species from extinction (Vice)
04 · First Hints
This is the photograph that started the study. A man wanted to climb into my wool. Nothing alarming on its own, but it was the first time I looked at Shane and thought: this is how it begins. Nobody is born at the far end of the chart. They drift there, one harmless step at a time, and if no one is writing it down, no one sees where it's heading. So I started.
Exhibit A · The first data point. Field photograph, the day the study began.
05 · Case Study II
The subject voluntarily entered a full-body dermal layer and accessorized it with formalwear. Note the bowtie: evidence of intent, not accident. This is the rehearsal. The body tries on the suit long before the mind admits it wants one, and once a man learns he likes the second skin, the line gets a lot easier to cross. If we're not careful, this is the step he won't walk back.
Exhibit B · Subject, photographed for cover (Vol. 24). Identity-concealing second skin with decorative neckwear.
06 · Case Study III
No costume. No occasion. No reason. The subject, photographed at home in a soaked undershirt, demonstrates the single most reliable marker that a man is sliding toward the line: a complete and untroubled absence of self-respect. The body had simply stopped asking questions, and a body that stops asking questions will say yes to anything. Even a tail.
Exhibit C · Subject at home. No event. No explanation. No notes.
07 · The Denial Mechanism
"It's just about the art."
The “I read it for the articles” of the millennial generation
Dispite appearances, Anime figurines aren't a waste money. As Satan consumes your soul, he repels friends and family through a shrine to sin. This shrine wards off anyone with a clear enough mind to lead the subject back into god's light. Parallels to mice infected with Toxoplasma gondii. Will be eaten by the cat. (non-vore)
* Living in this split reality has MANY parallels to living as a Furry. Inviting parents to see your titty shrine at dinner with a straight face = attending your mom's funeral in a Fursona.
08 · The Complication
For one beautiful quarter the index plunged, the single largest risk drop ever recorded. I celebrated. Prematurely. We should have been happy.
Exhibit D · Subject, photographed with confirmed romantic partner. Field conditions: ordinary.
* The largest single drop on record.
09 · Then We Met Her
* Gay alone obviously isn't furry... but the research shows that when we take away the fat ass and juicy tits, from Judy Hopps , it becomes WAY more furry when I beat it her feet.
10 · The Isolation Test
Controlling for secondary sexual characteristics isolates the furry variable. Study repeated 35 times, results were the same every time.
11 · Present Reading
12 · Findings
The subject is not an outlier. He is one careless year from the far end of a spectrum we all sit on. The reassuring part: for the first time on record, the numbers are coming down. But the road is still there, and it still runs one direction. If we're not careful, that's where he'll go.
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Case file · closed (for now)
Subject reports clinically receding risk. Long live the Bruess. Thank you for coming to my talk.
So… is Shane actually a furry?
The research is ongoing. The risk, mercifully, is receding.
Should we be worried about him?
We were. Less every year, now.
Why are we all here, then?
It's June 3rd, the subject just turned 33, and someone made slides.